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Ether Eel
My hands smell like crayons (very NSFW)

I woke up today and felt rather different. I scratched my face. Big mistake. All I smell is this disgusting waxy smell, not unlike that of a box full of crayons. I try to wash my hands, and nothing erases this smell. If I had more money, I'd buy better soap, but I can't afford it. Hell, all I can afford is Top Ramen noodles for dinner.

Does anyone have any suggestions? I'm afraid this might affect my regular life. I can smell my hands from the keyboard, and it's making me woozy. And if I try to write songs or sing into a microphone, it's all going to be over.

I'm not sure what to do.
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Feminist
Brain tumor.
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Terk Benson
This makes me angry.

Somebody hold me back!!
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Terk Benson

Terk Benson fucked around with this message on 03/17/09 at 07:02:45.
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Terk Benson
This thread is now you laugh you lose.





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Terk Benson






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Terk Benson
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Ether Eel
Terk, thank you for doing exactly what I expected. You are far too predictable, sir.


I need a medic! Pretty sure this shit needs to get retagged NSFW!
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Drav
I'd rather just get rid of them but I'll see what everyone else thinks. I'm kind of over the whole "let's post the most disgusting shit we can find in random threads" thing we've had going for the last year or so.

Drav fucked around with this message on 03/17/09 at 13:12:28.
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Feminist
If I did that I would be banned for three weeks.
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Ether Eel
Drav wrote: I'd rather just get rid of them but I'll see what everyone else thinks. I'm kind of over the whole "let's post the most disgusting shit we can find in random threads" thing we've had going for the last year or so.
I would too, but for the moment, I thought a NSFW tag would most definitely be in order. These weren't even offensive to me. And Abel, you're god damned right. Odd how some things work around here...

And for the record, I did the dishes this morning, and they still smell like crayons!!!!! So I took a handful of multivitamins. Maybe they'll help.

Stay tuned, kids!
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Drav
Abel wrote: If I did that I would be banned for three weeks.
Not by me.
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Feminist
Yeah but you're practically the third coolest guy on this forum, so I wouldn't expect you to do anything silly.
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Aaron
Abel wrote: If I did that I would be banned for three weeks.
nah, not these days, you'd just get a warning.
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J. Robert Oppenheimer wrote:We knew the world would not be the same. A few people laughed, a few people cried, most people were silent. I remembered a line from the Hindu scripture, the Bhagavad-Gita. Vishnu is trying to persuade the Prince that he should do his duty and, to impress him, takes on his multi-armed form and says, “Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.” I suppose we all thought that, one way or another.
un movimiento de la gente se ha juntado
peleando, liberando los pueblos encarcelados
golpe de estado y será mos independientes
es hora de revolución nuevamente
lol last.fm chartsVoilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-à-vis an introduction, so let me simply add that it’s my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.
Vaulting, veering, vomiting up the values that victimized me, feeling vast,
feeling virginal... was this how he felt? This verve, this vitality... this vision...

La voie... la vérité... la vie.

ffof · tls · eoff · ffr · ff · pfhorums · wf · asoiaf · tmv · reds · lj · last.fm · ms · fb
(SPOILER)
The Dead Flag Blues
The car is on fire and there's no driver at the wheel and the sewers are all muddied with a thousand lonely suicides and a dark wind blows. The government is corrupt and we're on so many drugs with the radio on and the curtains drawn. We are trapped in the belly of this horrible machine, and the machine is bleeding to death. The sun has fallen down and the billboards are all leering and the flags are all dead at the top of their poles. It went like this: The buildings tumbled in on themselves, mothers clutching babies picked through the rubble and pulled out their hair. The skyline was beautiful on fire, all twisted metal stretching upwards, everything washed in a thin orange haze. I said, "Kiss me, you are beautiful; these are truly the last days." You grabbed my hand and we fell into it like a daydream or a fever. We woke up one morning and fell a little further down; for sure it's the valley of death. I open up my wallet and it's full of blood.
Gravity's Rainbow
The Smashing Pumpkins
we can watch the world devoured in its hate.
The late prophet Bill Hicks
I'm so sick of arming the world and then sending troops over to destroy the fucking arms, you know what I mean? We keep arming these little countries then we go and blow the shit out of 'em. We're like the bullies of the world, you know. We're like Jack Palance in the movie Shane, throwing the pistol at the sheep herder's feet: "Pick it up." "I don't wanna pick it up mister, you'll shoot me." "Pick up the gun." "Mister, I don't want no trouble, huh. I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don't even know what gingham is, but she goes through about ten rolls a week of that stuff. I ain't looking for no trouble, mister." "Pick up the gun." Boom, boom. "You all saw him. He had a gun."

moar I'll show you politics in America. Here it is, right here. "I think the puppet on the right shares my beliefs." "I think the puppet on the left is more to my liking." "Hey, wait a minute, there's one guy holding out both puppets!" "Shut up! Go back to bed, America! Your government is in control. Here's Love Connection. Watch this and get fat and stupid. By the way, keep drinking beer, you fucking morons."

All governments are liars and murderers. Go back to bed, America! Your government has figured out how it all transpired. Go back to bed, America! Your government is in control again. Here, here's American Gladiators. Watch this, shut up! Go back to bed, America! Here is American Gladiators; here is 56 channels of it! Watch these pituitary retards bang their fucking skulls together and congratulate you on living in the land of freedom! Here you go, America: You are free to do what we tell you! You are free to do what we tell you!

The Supreme Court says pornography is anything without artistic merit that causes sexual thoughts, that's their definition, essentially. No artistic merit, causes sexual thoughts. Hmm... Sounds like...every commercial on television, doesn't it? You know, when I see those two twins on that Doublemint commercial? I'm not thinking of gum. I am thinking of chewing, so maybe that's the connection they're trying to make.

I have this feeling man, 'cause you know, it's just a handful of people who run everything, you know... that's true, it's provable. It's not... I'm not a fucking conspiracy nut; it's provable. A handful, a very small elite, run and own these corporations, which include the mainstream media. I have this feeling that whoever is elected president, like Clinton was, no matter what you promise on the campaign trail – blah, blah, blah – when you win, you go into this smoke-filled room with the twelve industrialist capitalist scumfucks who got you in there. And you're in this smoky room, and this little film screen comes down, and a big guy with a cigar goes, "Roll the film." And it's a shot of the Kennedy assassination from an angle you've never seen before that looks suspiciously like it's from the grassy knoll. And then the screen goes up and the lights come up, and they go to the new president, "Any questions?" "Er, just what my agenda is." "First we bomb Baghdad." "You got it..."

I thought the whole thing was an absolute disaster and a débâcle. And if any of you had been watching public access and seen the footage which was not shown on any major news media source... of the tanks, Bradley tanks shooting fire into the compound. Which I think went against the party line story, which was that they shot tear gas in order to help the mothers and the children to get out to convince 'em. While they're destroying the compound, they're getting mom and children out, you see. The soft sell is definitely the FBI's way. And anyway, so the major news said that the Branch Davidians started the fire, if I'm not mistaken. Correct me when I go off the story here. All they did was shoot in tear gas? And yet I've seen with my own eyes, and my squeegeed third eye, footage of a Bradley tank shooting fire into the compound, which... isn't that odd that no major news source has picked up on that? You think that's newsworthy? 'Cause that basically means that the government, from the FBI, the ATF, up to Janet Reno, including Clinton, are, um... liars and murderers. Hahahahaha. And wait, there's more. I mean the implications are vast. You know, if the ATF and FBI had any honour, if there was any honour left or dignity on this planet, they would commit hara kiri, while first admitting what they've done, and they'd kill themselves. Because they are liars and murderers. "Oh, we had to bust the compound down 'cause we heard child molestation was going on." Yeah, if that's true, how come we don't see Bradley tanks knocking down Catholic churches? I'm talking if child molestation is actually your concern. "Well there was a methamphetamine lab on the..." No there wasn't.... They don't want the voice of reason spoken, folks, 'cause otherwise we'd be free. Otherwise, we wouldn't believe their fucking horseshit lies, nor the fucking propaganda machine of the mainstream media and buy their horseshit products that we don't fucking need and become a third world consumer fucking plantation, which is what we're becoming. Fuck them! They are liars and murderers. All governments are liars and murderers, and I am now Jesus, and this is MY compound.

The world is like a ride at an amusement park. It goes up and down and round and round. It has thrills and chills and it's very brightly coloured and it's very loud and it's fun, for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time and they begin to question, is this real, or is this just a ride? And other people have remembered, and they come back to us, they say, "hey - don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because, this is just a ride..." And we... kill those people. Ha ha. "Shut him up. We have a lot invested in this ride. Shut him up. Look at my furrows of worry. Look at my big bank account and my family. This just has to be real." It's just a ride. But we always kill those good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok. Jesus murdered; Martin Luther King mudered; Malcolm X murdered; Gandhi murdered; John Lennon murdered; Reagan... wounded. But it doesn't matter because: It's just a ride. And we can change it anytime we want. It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings and money. A choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love, instead, see all of us as one. Here's what we can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride. Take all that money that we spend on weapons and defenses each year and instead spend it feeding and clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, forever, in peace. Thank you; you've been great.

ACF awards an' shit Best Member Rep · Best Signature · Most Respected · Best Poster · Best Debater · Most Intelligent · Most Political Knowledge · Second Most Literary Knowledge · Third Best Male Member (Tie) · Third Most Likely to Get Modded (Tie) · Third Most Likely to Become the Next Admin

KILL IT WITH FIRE


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Ether Eel
That's good to know, but the freak-everybody-out pics really aren't my style. And my hands still stink!
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Chris
I'd suggest cutting off your hands, but that might be tricky when it comes to your other hand. So, alternatively I'd suggest cutting off your nose.
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Ether Eel
Oh Kegs, you're so cute. I think they stopped smelling by the way.
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Aaron, Aryn Freid, Auron Fred, Chris, Cyan, Dalkaen, Daniel., Dante, DigitalGhost, Drav, Duscus, Ether Eel, kanono, Louisa, monkeyshinobi64, Oliver, Prince Shai, Roger Mexico, Gentleman, Ryth, SecuROM, Terk Benson, William Henderson, Zelgius
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